Tue, 13th May 2025
HOW TO QUIET YOUR INNER CRITIC
There is a common assumption that all performers are confident and that we have no self-doubt – or, if we do, we are simply very good at dealing with it.
I wish!
My self-doubt’s best friend is my inner voice. And since she’s part of me, we share some key traits: she’s loud, persistent, and incredibly convincing. She often disguises herself as the voice of reason, and honestly, she’s exhausting.
Dealing with my inner critic is a constant battle. I won’t pretend I have all the answers, but I have learned a few things.
Your inner critic isn’t evil. It’s not out to destroy you. It’s actually trying to protect you. It wants to keep you safe. Hidden. Small. Because if you stay small, you won’t take risks. And if you don’t take risks, you can’t fail. That’s the logic it runs on.
For me personally, ignoring it doesn’t work. In fact, pretending my inner voice isn’t there usually makes it louder. More insistent. More dramatic. (Of course she would be!)
The danger is letting it talk without actually listening.
It might sound counterproductive, but I’ve found that when I stop and really hear what it’s saying, it loses its power.
Here are some of her recent comments:
- “Your voice is horrible.”
- “You’ll never learn this piece in time for the concert.”
- “There are so many people better than you. Why even bother?”
Sometimes I talk back using logic:
- “Well, I’ve learned plenty of difficult pieces before. In fact, I’ve never failed to learn one in time.”
- “I can’t change how my voice sounds, so I have to trust that the right people will connect with it.“
I also like to give my inner critic a name. Depending on the day, she’s either “Miss Critique” or “Chatty Gabi.” She has opinions. She’s dramatic. And she never knows when to pause. But naming her gives her boundaries. It reminds me she’s not the real me. Just a very worried voice trying to help in all the wrong ways.
Because the truth is: that voice is not the real you. It’s a very tired, very anxious part of you trying to feel useful.
It also find that it helps to speak to it out loud:
“Thank you for trying to keep me safe. But is this really useful right now?”
The important thing to remember is that you are not failing just because you still hear your inner critic – or because you can’t make her disappear. Believe me, she will show up again.
What matters is learning how to talk back to her from a more powerful place.
The truth is, no one changes the world or moves hearts by playing safe all the time. Better to learn to have a conversation with your inner voice – and keep doing amazing things anyway.❤️
A NOTE FROM THE GREATS
“Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things you didn’t do than by the ones you did. So throw off the bowlines, sail away from the safe harbour, catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover.”
– Mark Twain
BACKSTAGE PICKS
Podcast: CrowdScience – What is the voice inside my head?
In this episode, psychologists explore the nature of our inner voice: how it forms in childhood and how it shapes our thoughts. Host Caroline Steel even tries a self-experiment to monitor her inner speech. Eye-opening and deeply relevant for performers (and humans) everywhere.
A Quote You Didn’t Know You Needed
“If your compassion does not include yourself, it is incomplete.”
– Jack Kornfield
Until next time. Remember to breathe deeply and sing boldly.
Forward this to someone who could use a little more courage before they take their next leap.
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